Potential

The Hubby and I are thoroughly enjoying a marriage class at church each week, learning to be a better spouse and how to make our marriage stronger. A few weeks ago we talked about how each partner contributes to the relationship in some way. WELL! I get to thinking about what I actually contribute to the relationship.... and I have to think pretty hard... and for the last few weeks have been wallowing in self pity because I don't feel like I bring much to the relationship. My loving husband and neighbors tried several times to list ways I contribute to the marriage, however, a good self wallow-er doesn't allow others to boost them from their wallowing.
After creating a monster and making my family suffer through all of this, I turned again to my scriptures and the counsel from the prophets. Actually, my sister-in-law who is serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka Mormon church, wrote a letter to me and was expressing some frustrations she was having and it brought me out of my wallowing. (thanks a lot Stephanie!)
So I may not feel like I have any talents or qualities that contribute to my marriage but I do have the ability to acquire them. Elder Russell M. Nelson, one of the leaders of our church says this: "With us, education is a religious responsibility. The glory of God really is intelligence. Each person's chosen occupation is only a means to an end; it is not an end in itself. The end for which each of you should strive is to be the person you can become- the person who God wants you to be...much more important than what you do for a living is what kind of person you become. When you leave this frail existence, what you have become will matter most. Attributes such as "faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, godliness, charity, humility, and diligence"(D&C 4:6) will be weighed in the Lord's balance."
Yesterday was a gorgeous day, sunshine and not a cloud in sight! I got up off my wallowing butt and worked. I worked hard and LOVED it! Pounding posts, digging through ice, putting up fence and then digging some more to protect the base of the fence. At the days end we let the piggies out of their little dog run and into their new much larger fenced area. It felt really good. Hard work is our blessing not our doom, and a sure way to put a halt to any pity parties.
I take great comfort in the fact that I can continually grow and develop as a wife, a mother and a person. So rather than wallow in the fact that I am not reaching my full potential, I will work harder to develop "me" and the person I can become. Thank heaven that there is continual progress, if we seek it... I am not a lost cause yet! Some day I'll reach my full potential... or at least get closer, and I'll be an equal contributor in my marriage. For now, I'll just keep my self doubting to myself....